Well this is it -- crunch time. I've got ten days to decide if I want to renew my account or not. I'm pretty much torn down the middle on this one. On the one hand, it's only $30 which is about what I'd spend for one night out at my local watering hole on karaoke night. In other words, it's not much money and I'd probably blow it elsewhere doing something much less reputable. I'm sure the fine folks at Sweetwater Brewery Company don't need any more of my money. heh

On the other hand, I haven't spent too much time on lately, mostly due to the negative feelings I've developed regarding the site admins. This site is certainly not the same site I signed up for 355 long days ago, but is that a good thing or bad? I'm all in favor of progress; I'm not some old curmudgeon who longs for the "good old days". Not yet anyway. There have been a lot of changes here over the past year, and for the life of me I can't think of any that made much of an improvement. But I still haven't found anyplace that could replace this site and its community (not that I've spent a lot of time searching). The people here, my fellow deviants, are for the most part some of the more interesting people I've met in the past few years. And a lot of the artwork is downright mind-blowing.

Anywaysssss, that's what's on my mind. Do I really want to spend any money supporting a site I no longer care that much about? Will I miss the functionality and ease of use this site provides for subscribers? Will I ever perfect my recipe for homemade roast beef & cheddar tortilla wraps? Finding the answers to these questions will be my mission for the next week and a half should I choose to accept it. And yes, I do choose to. I'm the decider.

Well another Black History Month has come and gone, and once again there was more time and energy spent debating whether we should even set aside a month to celebrate Black history than there was in the actual celebration of it. The only bright spot I saw was the PBS documentary on the good doctor up there, Percy Julian. T'was a good show.

_{This isn't much of a Journal entry; it's just something to get Billy Bob off my page.
And on another note, 1/6th of the year is gone, and I'm right on track to meet my my major goal for the year: that is, save up enough $$$ so I can move the hell out of this town.}

<img src="[link]" height="451",width="538" border="1">

One year awhile back, back when I was living in Atlanta, I was living in an extended stay hotel during the holiday season. I was living there waiting while I searched for a more suitable living arrangement than the one I had abandoned earlier. I didn't know anyone in town, and I had sort of fell out of communication with my family for a time. So I spent Christmas alone; alone watching basic cable with a bottle of Jack Daniels and a t-bone steak that I had marinated in Jack Daniels for a little too long so it ended up tasting like Beefy Jack Daniels. That was my worst Christmas ever.

Until this year. This year was extra special. I set out from Tallahassee to go meet a friend from Jacksonville in Lake City (I know almost none of you know where any of these P.O.S. towns are, but you can GoogleMap it if you're truly interested) on Christmas Eve. We were meeting there so I could take him and his family out to lunch at a restaurant of their choosing. About an hour into my fantastic voyage, still about a ½-hour from Lake City, my car decides to die on me. I've been driving for a decade and half now, and up to now I've never had a car conk out on me while I'm doing 90 m.p.h. on the interstate. I sat on the side of the rather busy interstate for an hour or so waiting for the guy I was meeting to get there. When he got there we jumped my car to get her to the next exit. There she sat strategically located in a Denny's parking lot while we made our way back to Jacksonville. I spent Christmas Eve night trying to sleep on his living room floor, wondering how sore my back was going to be in the morning. Not very, actually. Christmas Day I awoke to discover his 3 youngest kids crawling over me to get to their presents. Understandable. We set out at around noon to go revive and rescue my car, a classic '91 Volvo 740. Only one thing could destroy our plan and make my situation worse: my friend was working on stand-by status for his job, a job which could send him anywhere in the Northeast Florida area. As long as he didn't receive a service call we would be fine. We get to my car, which, in what can only be described as a Christmas Miracle, has not been towed by the good folks at the Live Oak Denny's. We get it started. He gets a call. The call is sending him to St. Augustine. He has 90 minutes to get there. We are 2 hours away. He sets off headed east. I cross my fingers and set off headed west. I make it 2 miles. On Christmas Day I sat on the side of a rather busy interstate for 7 hours waiting for my friend to get to St. Auggie, do what they called him to do, then return to Next-to-Middle-of-Nowhere, FL to pick me up.

I got home at 10pm Christmas night, glanced at the small pile of gifts I had intended to deliver on Christmas Eve after I returned from lunch in Lake City. I said "f&#* it" and plopped down on my bed, too tired and sore to give a damn anymore about this overblown holiday. The next day, which I guess would have been yesterday, I rented a car (a kinda neato 2007 PT Cruiser) and started plotting and planning how to rescue my classic Volvo from the side of I-10.

I had my first shoot with a model this past weekend. Met her on ModelMayhem.com. Great site, but the somewhat frequent server problems can be aggravating. It's actually down again right now, which got me to thinking that maybe I could update my journal here. But I don't have much to talk about. I'm pretty boring. I can be interesting on occasion, but it comes and goes. And goes and goes.

Anyway, the shoot went OK. Nothing special about any of the shots. Nothing wrong with them, they're just... yawn-inducing.




"I'm like King Midas in reverse. Everything I touch turns to shit!" -- Tony Soprano

_{Fuck CSS! Every journal I see with that shit enabled looks like a goddamn teenager's fucking MySpace fucking page. The dA guys got nothing better to do than work on that shit?!? Fuck CSS!</a>}

I thought THIS STORY might be of interest to the deviantArt Community. I couldn't believe it when I read it, but then that ol' familiar language kept creeping into the article and I knew that it was unfortunately true.

For those who are too busy to click on that link, I'll summarize: Essentially a woman, a grown-ass adult woman, posted nude pictures of herself on the internet (possibly at a site like deviantArt). No big deal, except that the woman happened to be the wife of a small town's chief of police. Well the locals got so riled up that the chief, the mayor, and a city councilman all had to resign over the uproar.

Best quote from the article:

"They have no morals as far as I'm concerned," said Shirley Anderson, who served as mayor in the 1990s and whose husband was mayor before that. "You should have respectable people in office. They need to go somewhere else where this is accepted."

And this is in America, Oklahoma to be more exact. Ahhh, good old American morality at work!

_{The people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in every country. -- Hermann Goering at the Nuremberg trials}

<sub>Uh oh, I think I'm addicted to YouTube

I have a brand new pet peeve. Men's underwear. Why the hell don't they standardize these damn things? The wang flaps I mean. There I am standing in the optimal urination position, fumbling to get The Big Lebowski out and I can't find the damn weewee flap on these new boxer briefs. Why isn't it in the same damn position as every one of my other pair? Hell, it ain't even in the same spot as the other ones in the pack it came in. Bottom line, it ain't right when a grown ass man pisses his pants simply because some designer at Hanes gets a notion to 'fancy up' some underwear.



Yes yes y'all
Yes yes y'all
I'm always on time nevertheless y'all</sub>

Somebody bring me some beer and nachos.

Here in Tallahassee there are more Bible thumpers than you can shake a stick at. But the #1 religion here has absolutely nothing to do with God, or any other deity you can name. That's because the most important thing in the world here in this town is Football. Not just any old Football, Florida State University Football. You can't walk two blocks without passing a house proudly flying an FSU flag; can't drive two minutes without nearly being run off the road by some soccer mom in a giant SUV plastered with "Go Noles" bumper stickers.

There was yet another debate last year over whether schools with Native American-based 'mascots' should be forced to change their names or face somewhat severe NCAA penalties. I knew that would never happen here. For one thing, they make far too much money selling Seminole merchandise to be affected financially by any decision the NCAA makes. They usually rank in the top 10 in sales, which means around $5 million every year. The second reason I knew they wouldn't change the name is because they kept repeating ad nauseam on the news that FSU had the blessing of the Seminole Tribe of Florida to use the name, but not once was it ever mentioned that Florida State has been paying them a substantial amount of money for that blessing. I thought the omission of that fact spoke volumes. For one thing it let me know they weren't really having a serious discussion about the issue, it was more of a public relations move by the NCAA to show the public they cared about the oppressed masses. The politically correct fools didn't know what kind of opposition they were in for.

Personally I don't object to having an Indian mascot. What I object to is that that's all you have, a mascot. The common defense is you are "honoring" them but keeping their memory alive. Why is it that the only memory of them you're keeping alive is that they are vicious, savage warriors? That seems to be the only way they are represented by these mascots. Other than that, the only thing most people appear to know about N.A.'s is that they've got some casinos now. Saying Indians are doing OK because they have casinos, is like saying blacks are doing OK because Oprah has a t.v. show. But whenever that caucasian frat boy paints his face red, gets on the Appaloosa and calls himself Osceola, and trots out on the field before the game, everyone thinks all is well in the world.

_{Gotta go. The game is on! Where the hell are my nachos and beer??}

At last I understand Sisyphus.

I never wanted to be one of those  deviants. You know the ones. The ones who never acknowledge fellow deviants' Comments and favouritizations. The ones who can't be bothered to reply to the hosannas and accolades the insignificant second fiddles throw their way. I figured if someone went far enough out of their way to offer their opinion of my work, or even more valuably, proffer some helpful advice, then I would go equally as far and respond to their input. Seemed like that would be some of the 'common courtesy' my parents taught me oh so long ago. But after two whole days trying to thank people for the s and s, I've come to a new conclusion. Fuck my parents' 'common courtesy'! That bullshit is going to kill me.


I more or less neglected my Community Messages for a couple of weeks. And when I went to check up on it I had mysteriously amassed some 300 messages! Alrighty, let's start knocking these out. A couple of days, and several back and butt ensoring* sessions in front of my laptop later, I have 175 messages left to respond to. WTF? What the hell do the people who get 300+ messages a day do?!? I don't know if I could afford to be that popular. heh


Would it be OK if I just issued a heartfelt General Thanks for all the community spirit, and just reply here and there when I get some free time? I have a life you know! Actually I don't, but that's fun to say.



* - I just made up a new word: ensoring. Definition: v. - to make sore.

_{uhh, I suppose I could have used "gall</a>", but I prefer to make up my own words where I see fit.}

That's what you get when you mess around with a true fu schnick!

I must apologize to anyone who is actually interested in seeing new stuff from me. I haven't submitted anything in like 4 months. I freely admit I'm a slacker. Heck, I'm one of the slackiest of slackers. I'm trying not to be though. I'm just... in a holding pattern right now. Waiting for the right moment. The right moment being sometime after I find a job.

I have several shoots set up with models in my area. Well not really set up, more like thought about. We've communicated, expressed interest, touched bases, ummm and some other clichéd phrases. Now we're just waiting for... me. Shooting film ain't cheap. I knew I shoulda went digital when I had the chance.

I'll have more stuff soon, I promise. And I only break promises 1 out of every 1½ instances.




_{Also not much of a Journal entry. I just had to get that last one off the front page. heh}

"Life is like a crap sandwich. The more bread ya got, the less crap ya gotta eat." - Crow T. Robot, MST3K

There is a difference between being poor and being broke. I'm not poor, I'm broke. I hate being broke. You know my least favorite part about being broke? Broke people eat fu**ed up food. Today I ate a 15 year old can of Bryan meat and bean chili I found gathering dust on the back of my grandma's shelf. Expiration date? June 20, 2000. I wonder if this queasy feeling I've had all day would have been as bad if I hadn't read the label. In this instance I think ignorance would have been slightly more blissful. Oh well, I'll just subtract about 2 years from my life expectancy and call it a day.



_{This wasn't much of a Journal. But I wanted to document this low point for my own future reference.}

So you're a philosopher?
Yes!

Isn't it amazing how many new deviations are submitted daily on dA?
That the amount of people who are interested in dA increases daily?
And the fact that so many artists have found a platform to dicuss and present their work to others?

Without a doubt it's a big, interesting and versatile community.
But isn't it amazing to always see the same artists on the frontpage every single day concerning the fact that so many new deviations have been submitted?

We're all aware of that and believe that this has to change. It is already quite difficult for the "unknown" artists to promote their work and gain more attention.

Clearly, we do not intend to deny the skills of those great artists who enrich the community by sharing their magnificent work. But we do intend to enhance the platform in such a way that "unknown" artists might get a real chance to draw the public attention to their own pieces of work by promoting it on the front page of the community.

In our opinion we think it unjust to only have the chance to be represented on the front page if one has the luck of having many watchers.

We would like a better system which allows a deviation to be seen on the front page if, for example, it has 'only' reached about 40 favourites and about 200 views.

Take a look at the actual situation: You have uploaded an impressive piece or art that gets faved according to the number of your total views/watchers. Then, however, a more popular deviant uploads a more or less 'average' deviation and automatically reaches more than the double of your favourites/views in a mere moment.

A new structure of the frontpage could enhance the actual competition on dA, i.e. popular deviants wouldn't be able to best the "unknown" artists by posting a rather average deviation.

A reasonable alternative to present the "daily top favourites" on the front page would be a bigger amount of thumbs which would show the 40 best deviations of the day in a random order.

We think it's in everyone's interest to change the current situation and make dA a place where creating and sharing unique art plays a far bigger role than scrambling for new watchers.

If you agree, help us and yourself by copying and pasting this entry into your journal. Text file --> [link]

The community

A million things run through my mind
You ain't gotta be in jail to be doin' time

According to policy, one of the primary missions of is: "Ensure that members are free to express themselves without restriction or undue censorship, and nurturing an environment of creativity, learning, and talent."  Apparently not everyone reads this statement before joining our little Community. And of the ones that are aware of it, it seems fewer and fewer deviants are taking it to heart. People here seem to actively seek out deviations they don't like and harshly ridicule the member who posted it. What exactly makes it so difficult to bypass submissions that are not to your taste? And what is gained by attacking the creator, and those who are interested in it? Why is more reasonable to you to disrepect someone's attempt at creating art and belittle them, than to offer helpful advice and whatever Words of Wisdom you have to share? To do the latter would do much in moving the Community towards "nurturing an environment of creativity, learning, and talent." Why not at least make the attempt to help others improve their chosen craft? Critiques that offer advice, even if it is unsolicited advice, is usually looked upon favorably if it is offered in an encouraging manner. That has been my observation. I only wish I had more, and better, advice to offer.


I have only been a member of for 8 months now; I joined the day I was informed of the existence this place. It was just what I was seeking, a community filled with extremely talented people who were willing to showcase their artwork and share in the knowledge they've gained through years of experience and/or training that not everyone has had the benefit of receiving. I have come to learn that a lot of those talented people are about as nurturing as Dick Cheney. Most of them are about as helpful as cow flatulence. Where is the Love, people?

9 months and $2500 later....

Today was the last day of my Intermediate Photo class, and not a moment too soon. Now I can get on with my life I suppose. This may very well be the last photography class, and the last ART class in general, that I ever take. So I hope I learned something. Heh. Nah, my Prof. was really cool; she taught us all we should really need to know to get our feet in the proverbial door. New techniques were learned (to be soon forgotten of course), attitudes were adjusted, feelings were hurt, and rude awakenings were to be had by all. Great class.

Now I need to find a job. Quickly. My bank account is down in the LOW triple digits and my classic '91 Volvo has decided it would like to start guzzling gas now that fuel prices are $3.20/gallon, and rising, for the required Premium. I'm hoping I can afford to gas up enough to get me work for the two or three weeks it'll take for me to get my first paycheck. And that's after I actually find work. I'm unusually optimistic. No worries.

So anyway, how YOU doin'?